Hope For Christy

This week, I moved forward, literally, in a car on the freeway.   Riding in a car is stressful not only due to the car’s electrical issues, but also because of visual impairments from the brain injury such as, the speed at which visual images ~ vehicles, buildings, people, anything ~ fly past my eyes.  I’ve been physically unable to ride on a freeway for months.  We visited a favorite health food store, one where we shop periodically.  It stimulated me and nourished my sense of “I’m coming back.  I’m healing.  I’ll get back to where I was before my January setback.”

The video below demonstrates some of how shopping is a unique experience for me, but made physically easier with Windsor’s extraordinary help.  Each video I make is a brain project, a brain therapy for me, releasing my abilities to teach, to use my music, to connect with people, to see the partnership Windsor and I have as a service dog team, to see how I’m growing and healing.  In this video, I see my growth, amazing growth in so many areas of my difficulties.

I speak in this video ~ alot.  For those who knew me pre-brain injury, you may watch this with sadness in your heart, remembering my voice – whether through singing or speaking – sounding differently.  For some, you may

• watch and hear my high pitched voice typical of brain injuries as the brain heals,
• observe my facial muscles working past paralysis to shape the word production,
• realize and see the effort it takes to get past certain words. 

For me, I see SUCCESS and so much PROGRESS!  I remember the Tuesday morning I awakened, almost 2 years to the day after the car accident, to the loss of my fluid speech.   EVERY single word or other word was stuttered, exhaustingly stuttered.  It was impossible for me to speak, to carry on any sense of conversation.  Within a few short months, I lost the ability completely.  I was digressing in so many ways and speech was one of the ways my brain declared it could do no more.

Years later, after about 7 months on the Brain Protocol, I began to make extended amounts of sounds, horrid sounds I must say, but sounds nonetheless.  After 9-10 months, I spoke words repetitiously, practicing and practicing without always stuttering. I still often repeat the same word, phrase, or sentence sounding as if I’m a broken record.   You will hear repetition issues in this video.  I know the work it’s taken to breakthrough the facial and tongue paralysis issues.  I know the stuttering struggle where the word won’t sound, but we laugh at “MY THESAURUS.”  “MY THESAURUS” appears when I stutter a word.  My mind is searching for a way out, finding a word or words that have the same meaning, but that is a doable, speakable word for me. When it happens, those around me can’t help but giggle at the surprise word(s) change(s).

So travel with Windsor and me as we shop, talk, and laugh!  Yes, Windsor shops!  Yes, Windsor talks quite strongly sometimes!  And yes, Windsor has a most definite sense of humor!